of cross uh horizontal polonization of this process has been as adults we're wallowing um but what the IIT better project did was it allowed and YouTube and Google it allowed adults to share these stories in a way that was very
And do you let it go? Do you kind of wallow in that for five months? There's no time for wallowing , because you've got something enormous to do the next day.
And I was saying what I do on my GPS. Well, these are my way points. And it actually does make me a better filmmaker. I just grab this off Google Earth's site. You'll see areas like the elephant wallow up there. I'd always want to get there first before the chimps did so I can have them coming into this area. There were hunts right around in there, so if I know that they're heading towards area there are hunts, I'll go out in front, try to figure out where the colobus monkeys are
What's the one thing you need to do to beat all your friends and family at Monopoly? And I think not wallowing in things you can't control is a very important part of moving forward and making
You feel like you get this character, and you just want to chase things that you feel that they're feeling. And sometimes you almost want to wallow in their sadness just to feel it out, and see and dig deeper in ways. And you can do all of that.
So what do you say to yourself when you get into a dark mood? I say that I'm wallowing , or having a pity party, or that I'm broken. It's not a coincidence that we call most dark moods by a bad name.
Yeah. I mean, these are toxic type messages that society has given us since we were born, right? And so we can spend 100 years wallowing in sort of what brought us to this place, or we could actually find a solution. And I realized that when I talked to Seth, my husband, about time fairness, that I wanted him to value my time as
Do you kind of wallow in that for five months? There's no time for wallowing , because you've got something enormous to do the next day. I mean, you know, as soon as something's finished, there's a sort of relief, you get that off your plate.
It's a waste. And that is just not true. When we don't ignore regrets and we don't wallow in our regrets, but when we just look them in the eye, it turns out there are these array of benefits that I mentioned earlier.
So keep up that forward motion. None of the subjects in my book allow them themselves to wallow for too long in anything. They all try to learn something from their mistakes and failure.
since um the Great Depression and we're also facing a lot of social and political um challenges from global warming and climate change not to mention environmental challenges so instead of um you know wallowing in the depths of despair this is actually presents us an opportunity to create a better more secure more sustainable
has now taken a backseat. And it could have been very easy for me just to sit on the couch, wallow in it, complain about the fact that I got hurt, and I couldn't do this.
This is a hot area of research. A lot of the benefits of self-esteem actually boil down to self-compassion. Arguably self-compassion's more powerful, partly 'cause it's so emotional. Self-compassion is not self-pity, it's not wallowing , it's taking a moment and it's usually typically less than 10 seconds to just have a sense of, "Ow, that hurts. This sucks. That doesn't feel good. I wish it was better. Eh, shoo, pause then suck it up and move on, right?
And again, if you can take the quiz and find out, you're in a better place for that. "Indulging" is a little bit different. It's sort of like that addictive quality of wallowing in the details. And a perfect example was a gal who -- we were in a meeting -- and she brought in a brochure, and she said -- she had three different brochures. She said, "Which color green do you like better?”
It causes pain. It causes discomfort. But if we treat our regrets properly-- don't ignore them, which is that no regrets tattoo you mentioned, but also don't wallow in them, we have a pile of evidence showing that it can help us get better at a whole array of things, that if we actually use our regrets as signal,
which is, "We can't afford the luxury of a negative thought." And often, sometimes when you've been kicked down or you've lost an opportunity, or you're up against a difficult situation, we want to retreat, and it feels good just to wallow in sorrow. And that's fine. And maybe that's the way that you work through something.
through some of the same developmental processes that we need to help our kids through. So that, for example, in my 20s, I wallowed in white guilt, right? White guilt is a developmentally normal, predictable white response when we start to realize we're white, we believe in equality and equity,