And so that can be kind of a messy feeling. Introversion for me is kind of the opposite of all of those, where if I embrace my introversion , I feel at peace.I feel balanced. I feel whole.
And you're laughing. I was like, what are you talking about? Introversion doesn't necessarily mean that you're quiet.It doesn't mean even that you're shy.
And let me kill this for you right now. Introversion and extroversion is a sliding scale, and every single person is different on it.If you take a Big Five test, you're all going to get different numbers.
this. It's a tendency to be paranoid basically and sort of introspective, introversion , things like that. It's it's complicated and I don't want to speak I don't actually much buy into the framework but so I don't want to speaktoo much for it but many people believe this sort of stuff. It's also interesting that when we looked at um
So we are intricately connected, and there's a fabric to how well you're living your life and how that impacts other people. So introversion means, how do you gather energy in the world?
So we are intricately connected, and there's a fabric to how well you're living your life and how that impacts other people. And introversion is pointing to the way that we make sense with the information that comes in.
I feel balanced. I feel whole. So introversion is a good feeling for me, whereas anxiety is a really negative, messy feeling for me. And so separating those and kind of defining what that looks like for myself has been really beneficial, because then I'm better able to take care of myself.
This is actually a mathematical model-- and I'll tell you later how we construct those-- which captures the consensus and impressions of extroversion and introversion . So the face that most of you are willing to approach is the prototypical extroverted face. Here's another demonstration with real images.
So it's kind of a mind-blowing moment for me where I realize that a lot of my behaviors and preferences stemmed from my introversion . And it was kind of a journey of self-acceptance from that point.
And so those things and the anxiety column are things that I can work on coping skills with so that they get a little bit easier for me. The things in the introversion column are things that I can accept and be OK with. So for me, I learned that I was an introvert when I read Susan Cain's book "Quiet," which I loved, and it was the power of introversion .
and how they can offer support and that two-way thing there. As far as introversion goes, they're a little more spread out throughout the book. But for example, I have a doodle that has a column where it's one side's extrovert and one side's introvert.
It's a little of both. had succumbed to introversion and just been told, go network, go work cocktail parties, he'd probably still be, you know, hey, thanks for calling GoDaddy.
you're an alcoholic everything else all the things that you think matter whether it's you know your ideal body type how much people sleep extroversion introversion it's less than would be expected by tossing a coin and these are really long-term marriages right 30 years or more there's one exception to this and that has to do with
What would you say to those folks? Being shy is different than introversion .
We're not as, what? What are the upsides of introversion that you think we bring? OK. Well first of all, I am not anti-extrovert.
But you find that it is through reconciling all of these contradictions within themselves that you find creativity is most likely to emerge. We also found lots of contradiction with introversion and extroversion. Raise your hand if you're an introvert.
So we are intricately connected, and there's a fabric to how well you're living your life and how that impacts other people. This is not-- we are not pointing to introversion and extroversion.
What do you do to take care of yourself and honor maybe the time you need alone or any parts of coming along with introversion as a leader? Well, introversion is how you get energy, right? Mm-hmm. And I realized that I struggled with being at work and being exhausted, because you're talking so much and you're asked to speak up.
How would you encourage-- or what would you have extroverts want to know? What would you want them to know about introversion ? I'm such a Susan Cain fan girl.
And she actually wrote the blurb on the back of "Introvert Doodles," which was such an honor. But what I would want people to understand is that introversion is not a flaw. It is simply a different way of existing and it's perfectly natural.
then I think that it would likely help them to be more productive. And then a lot of times I find introversion is defined by it's not extroversion. So we're not as fun.
So I could call and I could ask. Well, first of all introversion /extroversion is very much a spectrum.
I think that some people really seek it, and some people it drives them crazy. We were talking earlier about how social anxiety and introversion can be different for women than men, broadly, of course. It's not going to be the same in every case.
believe maximizes the energies of extroverts while not those of introverts. I think the bias in our culture against introversion it is so deep and it's so profound and we internalize it from such an early age we don't even realize that we're doing it. But from the minute that you're introduced to a preschool classroom, when you were a young child, you're immediately in an environment where you're expected to be happy in a group.
soul crushing. And I really stuck... And I became more and more isolated. Part of that was leaving that group of writing friends in New York. I'm prone to just introversion anyway. The type of person I am. Breaking up with the girlfriend at the time.
So we are intricately connected, and there's a fabric to how well you're living your life and how that impacts other people. Extroversion is-- I'm sorry, introversion is how do you gather energy from within yourself?
And it was fine. If those two things go hand-in-hand, introversion and nedery?
And it was just my artwork because I'm a crafter, I'm an artist. And so I started sticking in these little doodles that had to do with introversion . And those were the ones that people connected with, which at first I was kind of like, you don't like my other art?
And it was fine. Understood. We were talking kind of at the beginning about introversion and nerdery.
It wasn't healthy for me and I didn't understand how to take care of myself as an introvert. So realizing that I was an introvert allowed me to reflect on those differences between anxiety and introversion and see which behaviors I wanted to embrace and which ones I wanted to work on with my therapist.
Well, one of the things that was helpful for me at the very beginning was sitting down. And I divided a paper into two columns, and one was anxiety and one was introversion . And I took a look at some of my specific behaviors and preferences and I tried to sort them.
So you mentioned this before. But in your introduction in "Kind of Coping," you started to pull apart anxiety behaviors and introversion behaviors. How do you see-- how are they similar?
It comes through things that we don't promote in our school system, and often in the workplace. Yeah. Like Scott was saying, introversion and exploration was a central contradiction that we explored within a series of paradoxes seen in highly creative people.
And I know that-- Which bit? Well, the quiet stillness, the introversion . I know that you did-- I'll say your experiences in childhood would not necessarily-- Oh, no, I was not gregarious at all because my parents were older parents.
So what shyness is, is it's the fear of social judgment. It's the fear of being socially humiliated, whereas introversion is just what I was talking about before, the preference for lower stimulation environments. And, in practice, these two do overlap to some degree so there are some people who are both shy and introverted.
So I've read a little bit about just kind of different temperaments like the Please Understand Me books -- Susan Cain: Um-hum. male #3: Keirsey I think it is I'm not sure but I'm wondering how your definition of introversion and extroversion relates to these other aspects of temperament like introspective and things like that. Like how do these, how do they interact with each other?
male #3: Susan Cain: Okay. Yeah, yeah I would say that is very much part of the way I've defining introversion . Yes. Hi. male #4: Hi.
It's not a disorder, it's not a mental illness, it's not neuroticism, and it's not even introversion .
But the other thing that I found really interesting in your memoir is that you've navigated your life between shyness, being too kind, introversion , but even
So how do you manage being an introvert and also work with how much you have to be out in the public eye and building relationships? What do you do to take care of yourself and honor maybe the time you need alone or any parts of coming along with introversion as a leader? Well, introversion is how you get energy, right?
And for that reason, I decided to overcome all of my anxieties, and introversion , and fear of speaking, because I think we all
And it was fine. To what extent do you feel like you have to be an introvert to be a nerd, and to what extent does introversion
It's not a disorder, it's not a mental illness, it's not neuroticism, and it's not even introversion .
Am I doing it because I'm too nervous to go out or am I doing it because it brings me peace and joy? And so if it's something that has a positive impact on my life, I'm like, that I can put safely in the introversion column. That is something that I can embrace and do more of.
The things in the introversion column are things that I can accept and be OK with. So for me, I learned that I was an introvert when I read Susan Cain's book "Quiet," which I loved, and it was the power of introversion . How would you encourage-- or what would you have extroverts want to know?
So I could call and I could ask. Thank you for all the work that you do in this space, making it OK to talk about introversion , about anxiety.
It's not something that we learn, although most introverts, we learn how to fake it at some point, certainly if we're going to go out and sell or be public in any way. I was on "Boston Public Radio" last week and Jim Braude said to me, well, you don't seem like you suffer from introversion . I mean, you can make eye contact with me.
But a lot of you in this room might identify-- raise your hand if you've read Susan Cain's book "Quiet." I'll ask that. Well, you all should totally read that after you read "Wired to Create." She's wonderful, and she wrote this book about why it's important to understand introversion and what it is, and give people opportunities who aren't necessarily the first one to speak at the meeting, for instance, or the one who doesn't
Susan Cain: Thank you, Alana. Hi everyone. Well, I have come to believe from researching and writing this book for about seven years now, started back in 2005, I've come to believe that introversion and extroversion are as profound a part of who we are, as core to our identities as our gender.
So yeah, Time Magazine did have this cover story about a week or two ago that was based on the research from my book and they called it, "The Power of Shyness." Shyness has nothing, well that's not true, shyness is very different from introversion . So what shyness is, is it's the fear of social judgment.