feel powerful today. I think that's particularly acute amongst men who are going through this broader crisis of masculinity in the face of the the rightful rise of feminism, but it hits them even harder when they at thesame time have both lost their natural position of primacy um
Masculinity just is is there whether we want it to be or or not and it's shaping us whether we want it to shape us or ornot. And yeah, it it does ultimately lead to some feelings of inadequacy.
And from all of this work, we can say that they're constructed from things that are typically meaningful to use in the social world. Masculinity , femininity, and all of our gender expectations that comes with it, facial maturity emotional expressions, cultural typicality, resemblance to familiar others, and so on.But the big question, after all of this, is well, are those first impressions really accurate?
And part of that has to do with the way, historically, we've defined masculinity . Masculinity is so much about I'm going to bring home the bacon.I'm going to take care of my family.
And it's pretty cool, because I sent them various chapters, and because I wanted this to be kind of a discussion about masculinity , and not my being the authority, because-- I mean, I am, but-- I felt like it was important to have a lot of differentvoices weighing in on the conversation.
on the menu." Because at the time, Noodle Bar and Ssäm Bar were very, very masculine, driven with masculinity in loud, loud music, loud flavors environment, but there was absolutely no value placed on dessert.There wasn't even dessert on the menu, which, even in New York City, it's strange to have a restaurant where there's no coffee, there's no tea, there's no dessert.
Philadelphia, I'm I'm still a very very close to um to this day. You know, these guys are like my some of my closest friends in the world, of masculinity , which is to the book's credit, it is not the point. To me, asking you know, what does it mean to be a a
you're not masculine enough-- my masculinity has been in question since I could breathe air. It was me taking myself out of that race.
NATALIE NUÑEZ: Do you think that the Spanish language has morphed the way that you think, in terms of femininity and masculinity ? And as that's being translated to these other books, is there anything that's lost in translation? Well, as we all know, in the Spanish language you cannot change-- every adjective has gender because it
It's going to be stuck in your heads all day. of masculinity . And it's a weird thing to be accused of, because often, certain sects of the audience are a little more narrow-minded
So what I had to do was I had to spend as much time as possible with the other guys at school, so I can learn about masculinity , learn what it's like to relate to other guys. Simultaneously, I had to avoid women at all costs.
Are you OK? We heard you fainted earlier today. specific masculinity . I was trying to do what an average American does that fits into that.
to something like white privilege as opp-, which I never thought of as eating away at anyone since they're kind of unaware of it and do you feel qualified to write about it. Obviously masculinity is something you write about and maybe feel qualified as a man but writing about that in terms of race issues as opposed to gender issues where you're not white, I don’t know, I just wonder how you, is that an analogy that you can also apply to white privilege?
I was just going through all of that and so I gave this talk at TED just about how each of us have a girl cell and how in men I think this tyranny of patriarchy and the tyranny of masculinity has in some ways really hurt men far more than it's hurt women because I think to grow up a boy means that you can't express your tenderness. And that to some degree you learn very early on you have to disassociate from your heart and that you can't ever be lost and you can't not know things and you can't ask for directions,
And you felt like a better way to do that, as opposed to another book making a a big abstract argument about masculinity and manhood and what it is or what it shouldn't be, a better way to do this was to just simply tell four stories of of actual men.
as as the other guys do. You know he kind of grows up with a different set of expectations and he comes to kind of his sense of masculinity in a way that is has a bit more intention to it. And but you know as he begins to transition in in adolescence and and into his early
But with your picture, that's right off, it's just saying, no, like you're clearly not trying to pass as a woman or uphold the standards of masculinity . You're clearly doing your own thing, which I love.
I was in New York in the early aughts and feeling like, oh, my goodness, new identities are proliferating every day. And trans masculinity -- a lot of friends were transitioning. And so from Los Angeles to New York, the thing that felt very interesting to me was the class divide.
Industrial Age masculinity -- men trying to do that are finding they have less power because of it.
of femininity and masculinity that are available through these technologies, but also different ways that different genders might interact with these and that they might support
What goes behind coming up with the outfits that you want to wear and working them on the red carpet? There is a masculinity race.
What goes behind coming up with the outfits that you want to wear and working them on the red carpet? There is a masculinity game.
It's going to be stuck in your heads all day. and create more positive masculinity in the world?
Depictions of masculinity , movies made about and just for women, all those things were coming out of the '80s, and we don't really
From an Asian-American masculinity standpoint, it's like for us to be really unashamed of everything
And I think masculinity functions like that, that people can perform a way to sort of mask some of the things that they struggle with about being marginalized in general.
Hack into masculinity , femininity, sexuality, what is taught, what is felt, what is learned, what is shared.
which is a masculinity expert.
white American masculinity . And I go to a bunch of places, like I went to a boxing gym.
So it's about masculinity .
Essentially it's a masculinity transform.
is parallel to masculinity , because femininity, when you look that up in the dictionary it's really all about the very softest parts of women. And it even says it's the opposite of masculinity . So, if we think
kind of there is a masculinity crisis in a way but I don't agree that men are necessarily more lonely than women. It's
to uh kind of through the lens of these four guys be able to show the ways in which kind of their lives have been shaped by certain ideas around masculinity , certain ideas around who they are supposed to be. Um show the ways in which that at some point those expectations fail them and and those expectations fail some of the people
of your identity outside of the ways in which you've kind of been trying to fit into this mold. I think we we want masculinity to function like a positive, healthy identity for men, but I think something you're exploring here is how what it often ends up being is a bunch
And I love what Dan said about masculinity and tenderness.
I stopped caring about that. I took myself out of the masculinity race, and now look at where I am. So I represent so much more than just myself.
and femininity is something considered less than masculinity .
Why do we have to redefine masculinity ?
So why we need to redefine masculinity , especially Asian masculinity , is because for me, masculinity
It's going to be stuck in your heads all day. And so when they say masculinity , it's a little gross, or it's a little old-fashioned.
There were overwhelmingly symbols of masculinity and chauvinism, embodying aggressive displays of physical power and competitiveness.
in the conversation about what healthier masculinity would look like, and how to make the world a better place for women generally.
Let's talk about toxic masculinity .
How do you address issues of masculinity .
And this can intersect with masculinity , that if a man feels like it's his responsibility to be a breadwinner and to be, therefore,
And now I give talks about masculinity all over the country.
How did I become a masculinity expert in four years or less?
and how that relates to masculinity and the shift in masculinity over the last sort of 15 years.
But it's just more of this masculinity .