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moment, which is cultivate good, healthy conflict on purpose. Not to avoid, not to go to war, not to say silent or surrender, but to do something else entirely. Looping is a deep listening techniquethat I learned from Gary Friedman at the Center for Understanding and Conflict, and it is a way to prove to the other person that you are really trying to understand them, even as you profoundlydisagree. And this has totally transformed how I operate in the world as a journalist, but also just as a human, as a parent, as a spouse, more than anything else I've learned in 20 years.
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