And I also love following different personalities. "Cabana" magazine was started by a friend of mine, Martina, and I think her view on home and textiles is so inspiring. And I have to say, a lot of different designers, Wes Gordon, who's the designer for Carolina Herrera, is great to follow because we see a combination-- he
Well, hello, Suzie, if you're watching. live on a cabana on the beach since I work for myself, working remotely with a beautiful sky view, a lot of the holistic food.
Please help me welcome my good friend Olivia. Olivia Fox Cabane: Thank you. The question I am always asked when I start speaking is of course because of the book title what is the charisma myth.
And I met hardened Republicans who told me Bill Clinton I hated him before I met him, I hated him after I met him, when I met him, man, I love the man. Olivia Fox Cabane: Without presence everything falls apart. Have you ever been in a conversation where only half your mind was present and the other half was busy doing something else?
Raise your hands if that's ever happened to you. Olivia Fox Cabane: Awesome. When that happens you may think that you are getting away with it.
Despite focusing on your toes, you will have upped your level of charisma right away. Olivia Fox Cabane: Didn't know your toes were going to be crucial to charisma. By the way something I should mention is that there is no Q and A period at the end of this talk.
Consequences of course, but we will not go into that that today. Olivia Fox Cabane: Yes. male#1: When people do this to me I find it really creepy.
male#1: When people do this to me I find it really creepy. Olivia Fox Cabane: When they do this thing to you, you find it really creepy, the deep soul searching eye contact? Student: Yes. Olivia Fox Cabane: Yeah, don't overdo.
Student: Yes. Olivia Fox Cabane: Yeah, don't overdo. Olivia Fox Cabane: So when two human beings stare deeply into one another's eyes there's an adrenaline like substance called PEA or phenyl ethylamine that goes gushing through your bloodstream and theirs.
passionate feelings for one another. Olivia Fox Cabane: So clearly you don't want to overdo it. They can be very effective.
They can be very effective. Olivia Fox Cabane: This is only to keep yourself present and if you think that this is not going to feel comfortable switch to the third one. Here's the third; you know how in independent movies and indie movies the main character even if he is completely uninteresting I'm thinking a clerk, small rats, any Kevin Smith
This is called learning to display alpha gorilla body language. Olivia Fox Cabane: So if you think of a gorilla, right; imagine a gorilla owns half the jungle. Rival comes in and breeches his territory.
male#3: By looking bigger. Olivia Fox Cabane: I think I heard. By looking bigger. And what Sanford research has found, is that guess what, humans do the same thing.
So if you wouldn't mind, put down laptops, books, whatever, stand up. Olivia Fox Cabane: They didn't tell you it was a physical exercise to wear comfortable clothing and good shoes? All right. Stretch your arms toward the ceiling and try to touch the ceiling with your fingertips.
All right, do you feel a physical change through your body? Olivia Fox Cabane: Yes. Excellent. What is happening is that when people take expansive poses, which are what this is called you, get a flood of assertiveness promoting hormones through your veins.
Thank you very much ladies and gentleman, you can sit down. Olivia Fox Cabane: So this is a virtual cycle because the more you take on an expansive pose, the more you'll get those chemicals flowing through your body which of course is going to affect your body language which gives yet another boost, et cetera.
You'll learn to apologize later. Olivia Fox Cabane: For the moment be the alpha gorilla. And some of my clients who've tried this told me it's amazing.
So try that and of course a non dangerous situation. Olivia Fox Cabane: All right. So that's power. We've seen presence, we're seen power, remind me what the third one is.
So that's power. We've seen presence, we're seen power, remind me what the third one is. Olivia Fox Cabane: Warmth. Excellent. They're paying attention.
Had you forgotten your eyelids again? Olivia Fox Cabane: It is impossible for us to control our body language entirely. Even when we control the main expression on our face, sooner or later, what's called a micro expression will flash and the problem is that even if it's as fast as seventeen
What's method acting? male#4: Having the emotion. Olivia Fox Cabane: You have the emotion. What that means is that you don't try to control the body language you actually try to control the source, which is your subconscious mind.
Could you please find someone in the room that you do not like. Olivia Fox Cabane: I am kidding. Turn towards your neighbor.
Just look at each other, that's all you need to do. Olivia Fox Cabane: All right people. Just look at each other, not me.
Where you see the biggest difference? Olivia Fox Cabane: Where do you see the biggest difference? Olivia Fox Cabane: The eyes.
Olivia Fox Cabane: Where do you see the biggest difference? Olivia Fox Cabane: The eyes. All right. What are the eyes?
So if that's the case… male#5: Could we have an example? Olivia Fox Cabane: This would be a nasal voice. I'm of course exaggerating, but taking it from the example, my voice tends to fluctuate off the charts; I'm a professional speaker, this is what I do.
male#6: Can it be controlled? Olivia Fox Cabane: Yes. Oh completely. You can learn to tweak your voice at will.
Thank you. What else? Olivia Fox Cabane: Body language is important. All right, I think we've got that one straight.
Any tips for learning that stuff other than joining a VC firm and thinking about it 40 or 80 hours a week? And the one that eventually launched was Cabana by Tumblr, which is a live-streaming, group-watching app.
Beats his chest, right, inflates, makes big noises why is he doing that? male#3: To create fear Olivia Fox Cabane: To create fear how? male#3: By looking bigger.
What form of acting did they come up with? male#4: Method acting Olivia Fox Cabane: Method acting. What's method acting? male#4: Having the emotion.
So those are the best areas to really go and learn about that. lounges, the cabanas, the salt-and-pepper squid?
Olivia Fox Cabane: When they do this thing to you, you find it really creepy, the deep soul searching eye contact? Student: Yes. Olivia Fox Cabane: Yeah, don't overdo. Olivia Fox Cabane: So when two human beings stare deeply into one another's eyes there's an adrenaline like substance called PEA or phenyl ethylamine that goes gushing through
confidence? What kills that projection of power? male#2: Self-doubt? Olivia Fox Cabane: Yeah, self doubt. Specifically self criticism. And in one of the manifestations of self doubt known as the imposter syndrome competent people
for them and their affection for you. Open your eyes. Olivia Fox Cabane: Did you see a difference in their face? Where you see the biggest difference?
So again to recap tell you what you've learned today. What is charisma? Olivia Fox Cabane: Presence, power, and warmth. Thank you. What else?
The most filthy song, the most perfect song, and that's a song that has come back, and it's become famous again strictly because people love to karaoke it. Like my nieces and nephews, they love to do "Copa Cabana." Remember that one?